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What do aliens want from William Shatner?
Terror Article V  |
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The room where secrets were revealed! Aliens kidnap William Shatner, want to know all his secrets *March 3, 1999* Two aliens flew their candy apple red space cruiser into the state of Kentucky earlier this week. Their mission? To kidnap the world famous actor and author... William Shatner! The aliens landed their cruiser in the middle of Shatner's ranch and quickly grabbed the startled thespian as he was riding one of his award winning saddlebred horses. The two aliens from the fugitive Alien Terror basketball team, Bug-Ize and Saw-Sir, shot Shatner with some sort of ray gun and carried him to their space cruiser. They then flew their ship off towards the setting sun. A few moments later, witnesses say they saw the cruiser land in the backyard of Harcourt Trelane of Lexington, Kentucky. "I'm sittin' in my livin' room watchin' Rescue 911 reruns, when all of a sudden, these tiny little aliens come chargin' in carryin' William Shatner," recalled Mr. Trelane. "It looked like he was surrounded by some kinda glowin' field. They put him in a chair, waved their hands at him and the glowin' disappeared. Man, it was weird!" What Mr. Trelane claimed happened next might be even more bizarre... "After they sat him down, they started to ask him all kinda questions about women," continued Mr. Trelane. "They wanted to know how he was able to score with chicks all the time. I guess they saw some Star Trek reruns, or somethin'. Anyway, Mr. Shatner started to give them some great pick-up lines. As a matter of fact, I'm thinkin' of usin' some of them myself. "The aliens said they were spyin' on that bouncy blonde actress, Pamela Anderson and wanted Captain Kirk to lead them to paradise. They must have been happy with Shatner's tips, because they shook his hand and gave him what looked like a fruit basket. Next thing I know, they go out the back door and take off in their space ship. Me and Shatner spent the rest of the night talkin' about horses and watchin' Rescue 911. He's a real nice guy!" The next day, Bug-Ize and Saw-Sir were spotted on a beach in California being chased by a very angry Pamela Anderson. However, if you think William Shatner's pick-up lines were the reason Ms. Anderson was so angry, think again. Rumor has it that she is now dating a horse trainer from Lexington, Kentucky.... Harcourt Trelane! Profiles of Terror • Terror Article I Terror Article II • Terror Article III • Terror Article IV Terror Article V • Terror Article VI • Terror Article VII |
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