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Would Ally McBeal make a tasty treat?
Terror Article IV  |
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 Calista Flockhart mistaken for a breadstick, eaten by alien *February 19, 1999* A tragedy of epic proportions almost occurred earlier this week in Hollywood, California. It started innocently enough when actress, Calista Flockhart, was eating lunch at a restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. Two men in overcoats and hats entered the restaurant and proceeded towards Miss Flockhart's table. Then, before anyone could react, the heavier of the two gentlemen grabbed Flockhart and swallowed her whole. His taller companion (over eight-feet tall) started yelling for the fat man to, "spit her out!" "Whatcha' talkin' 'bout?" asked the fat man. "It's just some skinny little breadstick." "That's no breadstick," cried the tall man. "That's the living earth goddess, Calista Flockhart!!" Startled customers soon realized who the two gentlemen were. They weren't gentlemen at all. They were two aliens from the fugitive Alien Terror basketball team! Gah-Ahr, the tall alien, started slapping Lar-Doh, the fat one, on his back. After a few tense moments, Calista Flockhart emerged from Lar-Doh's mouth. She was covered in blue slime, but appeared to be unharmed. Gah-Ahr started to bow down at Flockhart's feet when customers started throwing utensils and food at the aliens. Both aliens immediately fled the scene before police could arrive. Witnesses claim they could hear Lar-Doh say, as he was running away, "I would not have spit 'er out if she had more meat on 'er bones. She was all fluff and no stuff!" Profiles of Terror • Terror Article I Terror Article II • Terror Article III • Terror Article IV Terror Article V • Terror Article VI • Terror Article VII |
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