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Bug-Ize's Galactic Poll  |
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Hello, earthlings. My name is Bug-Ize. I am part of a group of conquering aliens known as The Alien Terror. As you no-doubt already know, we invaded your dilapidated planet not long ago. We decided to leave just so you would dread our return one day. Until that day comes, I've decided to get your opinions and let you know what I've been up to lately. Right now I'm on a journey that will take me all over the galaxy to find the perfect female who will obey my every command. However, all you foxy earth women need not worry. One day, me and the Terror will conquer your planet and all you gorgeous females will be mine. That is, until I get bored with you and turn you into lava lamps.
Before I get to the poll question results, I want to tell you grungy creatures a story that proves we are the superior species. One day on your planet, I walked into a doughnut shop. My intention was to rob the place by using nothing but my superior mind. I walked up to the fancy female behind the counter and said I wanted a dozen doughnuts. (I could tell by the way she twisted her face that she wanted my smoldering alien form!) She put the doughnuts in a box and told me it would cost $3.99. I gave her one of your $20 bills, and while she went to the cash register, I ran out of the store with the doughnuts! Ha! No one even tried to stop me! It was obvious that they had no way to counter my brilliant mind. I did the same maneuver at other types of businesses with the same result. I could have done it more often, but I ran out of money. |
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 Now for the results of the Galactic Poll: Who do you think I, Bug-Ize, should choose to be the mother of my love child? Well, it looks like you pathetic humans are capable of doing something right. This creature called RuPaul has to be the most stunning female I have ever seen!! MAGNIFICENT!!! She is the perfect choice to bear my love child. As a matter of fact, I think she will bear many outstanding alien offspring. Just think of it... A whole race of Ru-Bugs!! I will seek out this female and give her the biggest surprise of her life. I just hope she has some surprises for me...
Here are the final results of your voting: 54.....13.1%....RuPaul 41.....10%.......Lisa Cerasoli 36.....8.7%......Seven of Nine 36.....8.7%......Bill Clinton 27.....6.5%......Jennifer Lopez 23.....5.6%......Sally Solomon 23.....5.6%......The Borg Queen 21.....5.1%......Special Agent Dana Scully, FBI. Maybe that's why she was pregnant! 19.....4.6%......Britney Spears 17.....4.1%......Queen Amidala 17.....4.1%......Oprah Winfrey 13.....3.1%......Carmen Electra 13.....3.1%......Lara Croft 12.....2.9%......Kari Wuhrer 10.....2.4%......Pamela Anderson 8.......1.9%......Winnie the Pooh 7.......1.7%......A Voters Pet Squirrel Rikki! (she's a lady) 7.......1.7%......Captain Janeway 6.......1.4%......Hillary Clinton 5.......1.2%......Madonna 4.......0.9%......Cow from Cow & Chicken 4.......0.9%......Calista Flockhart 3.......0.7%......Roseanne 2.......0.4%......Ricky Martin 2.......0.4%......Saddam Hussein 410 Total Votes
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